Pahadi Philippa

 That girl in black triangular border , linen textured, with perfectly pleated and pinned saree was standing in a queue in front of Dholpur house.  She was thinking it was pure luck which got her here. Was she really deserving? Well, She consoled herself by saying that it's not her job to decide. She felt grateful to her profession which kept her sane in the darkest of dark hours.  She had her share of lovely moments with the loveliest people in her life. She became someone whom she could respect and isn't it all that matters! She is ordinary and her presence there was trying to make her feel extraordinary but she knew in her head, in her soul, in her heart that she's just lucky not extraordinary at all. She was happy and wanted to live that conversation happily. She smiled during the entire conversation. Those 30 minutes ended in a jiffy. She came out muddled. She's still topsy-turvy. She's a people pleaser like all SHEs are!!! Maybe she would've pleased them t

  Sayonara 2023!

Charming smile with closed eyes and that slight tilting of head. Who wouldn't fall in love with that beauty ? Whenever I see him on screen my gaze is glued to him. How he loved people in Anand. How he loved a widow in Kati Patang. How he stitched together the family in Bawarchi. His lip-synch in Mere Sapno Ki Rani on Kishore da's voice. His expressions in Amar Prem - "Pushpa ,I hate tears. " The Cinema of 70s which portrayed men so beautifully and Rajesh Khanna played a huge role in it. I'm spellbound by him since I was a teenager and used to watch his movies on Sundays from 12 to 3.  P.S . He was not the typical macho man who's unexpressive but he was a sensitive and expressive lover whom I loved on screen. 

 What if I deserved better? What if I wait and juggle for the best ?  We have the biology of wanting the best. We may not even know what is best for us. Infact our best can change with time. Yet we are always in this comparison mode. Whether we believe it or not this is driven by Narcissism.  We want to be those maximisers at times who revolve the whole world around themselves. This craving is deadly. I didn't know if I wanted to be veterinarian but I used to feel what if I could do something better. I still don't know many a things about my wants. I'm sure I'm not alone in this maze. Most of us don't know what we want.  We will always have this fear of better options ( FOBO) inside us. However we need to understand that it makes us lose the benefits of commitment.  I feel the beauty of commitment calms me down. I try to choose the closest thing that feels right and then commit to it. I feel much happier this way.  Oh my dear Philippa, Succeeding requires commitment

 When me and my family do not think twice before planning any trip. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I wear the same clothes to my workplace and at my home. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I prioritize a samosa and imarti over any new pair of clothes. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When the time and respect given to the guests visiting my home becomes more important than any furniture in my house. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I stay awake at night preparing my best for the job tomorrow. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I feel the happiest in giving rather than receiving. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I reach late at my workplace just because I was reading a newspaper. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I sit in my home and see its map being designed by your brilliance. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. Whenever I see the movie ANAND and Rajesh Khanna says, zindagi lambi nhi badi honi chahiye babumoshai. I COULD ONLY IMAGINE YOU. Whenever I think about learning the skill of driving and its relevance being gender neutral. I COULD ONLY IMAGINE YO

Wow, that espresso ahh..Meh Delicious Cappuccino ahh..Meh My lovely Americano Ahh..Meh Mouthwatering Latte Ahh..meh Tasty Mocha Ahh..meh Savoury Macchiato Ahh..meh The final flat white ummm.. not sure Ahhh..meh Just give me the boiled water The waiter said,"Sorry Mademoiselle.. The Cafe's closing, you may come tomorrow." I wish we all had one more life tomorrow but do we? The life is not a cafe shop Philippa, and people coming in it aren't coffee flavours. Our generation thinks we are so smart, cool and progressive ( Pseudoprogressive) but are we really? Do we even give time to things to make them senseful? There's no ठहराव in our lives. We are constantly juggling between stories and never writing a GODAAN. Masterpieces aren't written in a day Philippa, they involve hardwork, dedication and patience. Don't be that crow in the title.. 😅