Pahadi Philippa

 We might need to become Doctors, engineers ( the most common ones), Lawyers, Civil servants ( the hyped ones), Teachers ( the best ones) , content creators ( the crazy ones) and what not for the world.  Yes! You heard it right. The world runs on money and You need to become someone to earn money. ( ofcourse there are exceptions who get everything without becoming one just because they were "born" somewhere).  I'm no exception and I love money. I have no shame in accepting that. People become your friends, your colleagues and your companions also because you have something which attracts them. It can be your conversation skills, your kindness, your money, your knowledge, your sense of humor etc etc. You need a lot in your pocket to be recognised by people. However There's one person for whom there's nothing that you possess matters except one thing. That one person is your mother and that one thing is Happiness. Mother wants nothing more than your happiness. Wheth...

 Hi Philippa, Happy New year to you. ( ofcourse the Hindu calendar one). One more year has passed and things have changed just like every other year. As the line goes, " Change is the only constant" but all changes are different. Some make us feel good like getting a comfortable job after a hectic job ;). While some changes make our bodies shiver, afterall winters aren't easy.  Philippa, You have seen quite a few seasons by now or should i say ऋतुएं। You have a past mixed with comforting memories and discomforting truths. You can't go back in time to make amends in the past. The present is the only thing which we can change. It's basic Physics!!  I will tell you a way though --- YOUR PRESENT CAN ALWAYS CHANGE YOUR PAST BY CHANGING YOU.  I'm not saying that it's easy but it's a way. Letting yourself to be changed is one of the hardest things to do. The path towards change goes through adaptation and you have king of seasons by your side [quite literally...

 That girl in black triangular border , linen textured, with perfectly pleated and pinned saree was standing in a queue in front of Dholpur house.  She was thinking it was pure luck which got her here. Was she really deserving? Well, She consoled herself by saying that it's not her job to decide. She felt grateful to her profession which kept her sane in the darkest of dark hours.  She had her share of lovely moments with the loveliest people in her life. She became someone whom she could respect and isn't it all that matters! She is ordinary and her presence there was trying to make her feel extraordinary but she knew in her head, in her soul, in her heart that she's just lucky not extraordinary at all. She was happy and wanted to live that conversation happily. She smiled during the entire conversation. Those 30 minutes ended in a jiffy. She came out muddled. She's still topsy-turvy. She's a people pleaser like all SHEs are!!! Maybe she would've pleased them t...

  Sayonara 2023!

Charming smile with closed eyes and that slight tilting of head. Who wouldn't fall in love with that beauty ? Whenever I see him on screen my gaze is glued to him. How he loved people in Anand. How he loved a widow in Kati Patang. How he stitched together the family in Bawarchi. His lip-synch in Mere Sapno Ki Rani on Kishore da's voice. His expressions in Amar Prem - "Pushpa ,I hate tears. " The Cinema of 70s which portrayed men so beautifully and Rajesh Khanna played a huge role in it. I'm spellbound by him since I was a teenager and used to watch his movies on Sundays from 12 to 3.  P.S . He was not the typical macho man who's unexpressive but he was a sensitive and expressive lover whom I loved on screen. 

 What if I deserved better? What if I wait and juggle for the best ?  We have the biology of wanting the best. We may not even know what is best for us. Infact our best can change with time. Yet we are always in this comparison mode. Whether we believe it or not this is driven by Narcissism.  We want to be those maximisers at times who revolve the whole world around themselves. This craving is deadly. I didn't know if I wanted to be veterinarian but I used to feel what if I could do something better. I still don't know many a things about my wants. I'm sure I'm not alone in this maze. Most of us don't know what we want.  We will always have this fear of better options ( FOBO) inside us. However we need to understand that it makes us lose the benefits of commitment.  I feel the beauty of commitment calms me down. I try to choose the closest thing that feels right and then commit to it. I feel much happier this way.  Oh my dear Philippa, Succeeding requires c...

 When me and my family do not think twice before planning any trip. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I wear the same clothes to my workplace and at my home. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I prioritize a samosa and imarti over any new pair of clothes. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When the time and respect given to the guests visiting my home becomes more important than any furniture in my house. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I stay awake at night preparing my best for the job tomorrow. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I feel the happiest in giving rather than receiving. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I reach late at my workplace just because I was reading a newspaper. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. When I sit in my home and see its map being designed by your brilliance. YOU ARE ALIVE IN US. Whenever I see the movie ANAND and Rajesh Khanna says, zindagi lambi nhi badi honi chahiye babumoshai. I COULD ONLY IMAGINE YOU. Whenever I think about learning the skill of driving and its relevance being gender neutral. I COULD ONLY IMAGIN...

Wow, that espresso ahh..Meh Delicious Cappuccino ahh..Meh My lovely Americano Ahh..Meh Mouthwatering Latte Ahh..meh Tasty Mocha Ahh..meh Savoury Macchiato Ahh..meh The final flat white ummm.. not sure Ahhh..meh Just give me the boiled water The waiter said,"Sorry Mademoiselle.. The Cafe's closing, you may come tomorrow." I wish we all had one more life tomorrow but do we? The life is not a cafe shop Philippa, and people coming in it aren't coffee flavours. Our generation thinks we are so smart, cool and progressive ( Pseudoprogressive) but are we really? Do we even give time to things to make them senseful? There's no ठहराव in our lives. We are constantly juggling between stories and never writing a GODAAN. Masterpieces aren't written in a day Philippa, they involve hardwork, dedication and patience. Don't be that crow in the title.. 😅

 Should I watch that movie in theatre or should i go to that new cafe or should I gossip about people to other people or should I feel sad for just nothing? We are too busy in chasing the hyped highs , thrill and the climaxes of events. We get bored with the monotony and are always in a hustle to do something which makes the event memorable as if we are always seeking some degree of drama in our lives. Although life may contain many events and drama but its large part is devoid of events. We live in the monotony of life. We seek the happenings - like  hang out every weekend, watching movies, blind casual dating, validation on social media ( I do post this blog's link on social media but in my defence writing is kinda meditation for me and keeps me sane and the happiest). In all this race to seek happiness in happenings we forget how to deal with the boredom of monotony OR to have peace in that monotony.  Today I realised that we need an environment of acceptance of truth ...

 Dearest Philippa, I was thinking to write to you for long. The thing about which I want to talk about is glorification of people. Sometimes we all glorify some people so much in our lives that we become overwhelmed by their intellect or beauty or kindness or success. It is not bad to acknowledge the qualities or the hard work of people. All I want to say is what we see in a person as his achievement is not exclusively his own achievement. Infact most of the times it is just a game of chance in life. Let me explain myself with an example, remember the most intelligent person you have met. He/She has technically zero role to play in the genes he/she has inherited. If that person is a quick learner then it was the IQ which should be given the credit. If he is polite and well groomed and speaks in a posh way then it was just the surroundings which made him so.  In stark contrast to that imagine someone who is born with an average or below average IQ, he shouldn't be blamed for hi...

I watched QALA , a fortnight back but this movie keeps coming back to me. Sometimes it feels as if a qala resides in me who's seeking the acceptance from the most important people in her life. It reminds me that how we go to any extent to be valued and loved by them. That song , " phero na nazar se nazariya" captures that feeling so perfectly. Whenever I hear this song, it touches a chord of my heart. The tussle that qala faught alone for the acceptance from her mother is a devastating beauty. Also, the cinematography and the background scores were breathtaking and melodious respectively. Qala touched the softest corners of my heart. The character of Majrooh played by Varun Grover reminds me of my real friends who always care and check on me. Even the dialogues in the movie are classic. "दौर बदलेगा, दौर की ये पुरानी आदत है।"  It is a masterpiece but a heartbreaking masterpiece.

One who knows about rookies and MVPs, One who knows about  Sundress and jumpsuits, One who knows from caramel nude to fuschia pink, One who knows the offside in soccer( and in life too), One who knows not only the battles of Panipat but also the battle of Chausa, One who knows the trade-offs and opportunity costs, One who knows Seychelles and Siachen, One who knows soundtracks and scores, One who knows the madhyam-marga and the stoicism, One who knows the goldilocks zone despite not leaving the comfort zones, One who knows the mandala art, One who knows from BTS to dhillion to Pt. Ravishankar, One who knows the anatomy of MAKDAs, One who is a rebel........ alas I wish I were. One who knows ... One who knows......  One who knows...............  his list is very long but it is much much more than worth achieving and my journey still goes on to become the one who knows.

"सफर में धूप तो होगी, जो चल सको तो चलो|" और अगर ना चल सको तो भी चलना तो पड़ेगा .. That's what  which I have understood lately. Past failures, bad experiences will haunt you, uncertainty of future will traumatize your heart but you have no choice my dear friend or rather to endure is your only choice. The real agony which is bigger than anything for an individual is losing his self esteem in those setbacks. You doubt yourself everyday. Then somehow you gather those remnants of confidence and come to your abode. I have always felt home is that time which you spend with your loved ones , your family and your friends. It can be the two room set where you grew up or a hostel room or even those regular one hour talks. But today I have understood home is a person for me and she's my mother. No matter where I'm i feel like I'm at home when she's there for me. I would always wake up and gather every ounce of confidence which is left in me just for her. I will battl...

I love poetry and those love filled shayari. Infact at some point of my life I seeked someone who can be my Jack Dawson from Titanic or Dimple from Shershah. Love is so grand and majestic in our imagination that we make it complex in reality. Isn't that love when you call your friend at 11 in the night from ola and she makes you feel the safest. Isn't that love when your grandmother spends all of her pension money on your studies. Isn't that love when your colleagues support you in a throng of strangers. Isn't that love when your mother calls you atleast twice everyday to ask the same repeated questions. ofcourse all of that is love and love only. Love is in simple small things. You will miss this lovely and lively love everyday if you still try to discover it or catch it by some or the other means.  Love was always with you and you were always deserving of it. You just need to understand that pain is inevitable but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't live for th...

Dear Phillipa, Consider me your well-wisher or the person who loves you a lot. You need to hear something, believe it or not but these months are going to be really crucial for you. There was a time when you were happy about some parts of your life. Now, you have become ignorant of the reality. Your mind knows everything but there is something which stops you from doing the essential. Hours after hours, days after days and months after months will keep on passing like this. Your life has become a business cycle, initially you observe a boom in your emotional intelligence and your life goes on track for a while but after sometime the slump kicks in and you are back to the same rut. I don't want to be harsh on you , because I believe in the power of love and persuasion. My motive is to make you see the reality but I don't want your actions to be driven by fear. As you know that fear has power but it is short lived unlike love. I just want to say that, you have everything that you...

  That big bunglow on the left side of my lane compelled me to envy the life of IFS officers for a second but the next second I got reminded of UPSC pre IFS cut-off and as expected I wasn't envy at all after that. We have all behaved like that bird and that cattle at some or the other point in our life. I don't know if you get it or not but I could never move on from the ecology chapter and the term commensalism. Well, you need COOL engineering in every biology related institute. KV signboard reminded me of 2013 AIIMS entrance and my chachaji and my stupidity of appearing for that exam and more so of filling that form. Finally , my eyes could see the beauty of this marvellous building which was looking even magnificent under those clouds.( I have to praise the clouds afterall they occupy more than 50% of the picture) Corridors: From School to college to FRI they are witness of not only the SOTY scenes but also of the chatter,the punishment and the connection to the final exit. ...